


i remember it all too well

by littlealmond



Category: Utopia Falls (TV)
Genre: F/F, sagelyn - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:35:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 14,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23225662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlealmond/pseuds/littlealmond
Summary: brooklyn and sage were in love. but after the riots, sage lost her memory, and brooklyn had a hard time forgetting anything.
Relationships: Brooklyn 2/Sage 5 (Utopia Falls)
Comments: 31
Kudos: 152





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i suggest listening to old taylor swift songs while reading this (especially "all too well" of course) because that's all i listened to while writing these chapters! my twitter is @pyroposie and i'll post updates there.

brooklyn sighed as she stared out her window. she couldn't shake the empty feeling in her stomach. she was so scared of losing the one thing she ever wanted. the only person she ever _needed_. 

that person had a name. sage.

they met three months ago. brooklyn went with her friend aliyah to reform sector to shop, and sage went there to visit her friend mags.

"hey watch where you're going," brooklyn snapped as she felt someone bump into her. she turned around. "oh i'm sorry... i thought..."

"um you thought?" the girl asked, confused. brooklyn's eyes softened as she looked at her. her mouth formed a small smile.

"i didn't mean to... uh i'm sorry. i didn't mean to yell at you," brooklyn said softly.

"it's okay. no apology necessary. i should've watched where i was going, i'm just looking for my friend." she smiled. "i'm sage."

"brooklyn," she held out her hand and shook hers. "nice to meet you."

"you too—" sage was interrupted by a familiar voice.

"sage, i've been looking for you everywhere," a boy said as he approached the two. "who is this?"

"this is brooklyn," sage replied. brooklyn smiled.

"my name is magnus, but you can call me mags," he said. "sage we should probably get going, we're going to be late for dinner with bohdi."

"you're right, you go ahead, i'll catch up with you in a minute," sage responded. mags raised an eyebrow and sage glared at him. he realized what was going on and smirked at the two, then he began walking away.

"so that was your friend?" brooklyn asked.

"yeah, it was," sage replied.

"look, i've gotta go too, but maybe i could get your number?" brooklyn asked charmingly. 

sage blushed and smiled.

since then they'd been inseparable, basically conjoined at the hip. they didn't know it at the time but they were falling in love. well, one of them didn't know.

in the beginning, sage didn't understand her feelings for brooklyn. she didn't even know what to call them. all she knew was that she wanted to be near her. she wanted to hold her hand and hug her. she wanted to feel the brunette's lips on her own and never leave her arms. but she'd never felt this way about someone, and she didn't know what it meant or if brooklyn felt the same.

brooklyn, on the other hand, knew exactly how she felt at first. she wanted sage in every way and wanted nothing more than to be everything to her. her deep feelings developed quickly and she was completely aware of them.

one night, brooklyn invited sage over for dinner. she had been building up the courage to tell sage how she felt for weeks now, and she decided that night was the night. 

"i missed you today," sage smiled lightly. "i feel like it's been so long since we've hung out."

"i know, i'm sorry i've been so busy lately," brooklyn sat down next to sage on the bed. "but i'm here now."

brooklyn paused for a second. she took deep breath and looked sage in the eyes. "you really mean a lot to me, sage."

"you mean a lot to me too," sage said instinctively. suddenly sage's usual smile began to fall and a sad expression overcame her face. "what's going on with us?"

"what?" brooklyn said, surprised.

"what does all this mean? the flirty comments, the dinner dates. what is going on?" sage asked, nervously. "i don't understand any of it."

brooklyn stared at sage deeply. "i was gonna wait until after we ate to do this..." she said quietly.

"to do what?" sage asked.

brooklyn exhaled the breath she'd been holding in and grabbed sage's face softly with her hands, pulling it closer to hers. before sage could even process what was going on, brooklyn pressed their lips together. it was brief, but romantic.

brooklyn slowly moved her face away from sage's. "that," she chuckled softly.

sage just smiled hard and pulled her back in for another kiss.

and with that, sage was sure of her feelings.

the months after that were nothing but amazing. full of romance and... well... love. they were that annoying couple that couldn't keep their hands off each other in public. they'd fight over text who misses the other more. but they didn't care because they were so happy that to them, nothing else mattered.

but one day, brooklyn made plans to meet sage in the reform sector. something else came up and she forgot to cancel their date. when sage showed up, the riots had already started. she got trampled and knocked over. she hit her head and passed out.

a woman took her to the hospital. she had a clear concussion, but something else was wrong when she woke up.

"honey, a girl named brooklyn is here to see you," the nurse said.

"brooklyn?" sage asked. "who's that?"


	2. Chapter 2

_“who is that?”_

“brooklyn? she said she’s your girlfriend,” the nurse said.

“i don’t have a girlfriend,” sage replied, confused.

brooklyn walked into the room and smiled. she ran over to sage to give her a hug.

“what are you doing?” sage pushed her off. “who are you?”

“very funny, sage,” brooklyn laughed.

“no, i’m serious. who the hell are you?” sage asked.

“you’re not messing with me? sage, i’m your girlfriend.”

“sweetie, what’s the last thing you remember?” the nurse asked.

“well i guess... i was getting ready to meet my friend mags at reform sector. we had plans to meet another friend, bohdi, for dinner,” sage said.

”that was three months ago,” brooklyn immediately responded.

”three months?” sage asked.

”yeah, i remember that day like it was yesterday,” brooklyn smiled sadly.

”it feels like it _was_ yesterday,” sage replied.

”brooklyn, i’m going to run a few tests and see how serious the amnesia is. you can head to the waiting room. her family is on their way, but maybe call one of her friends?” the nurse suggested.

”of course, thanks.” brooklyn walked back to the waiting room. she called mags.

”hey, what’s up brooks? did you go and see sage?” he asked.

”i did, but it didn’t go as well as i thought it would...” brooklyn trailed off.

”why? what happened?”

”she doesn’t anything from the past three months. she doesn’t remember me,” brooklyn said sadly.

”brooks... i’m so sorry...”

”the doctors are running tests right now. look, i know you were supposed to be coming later tonight, but i think it’d be good to have you here now.” 

“of course. i’ll head over there now,” he said, hanging up the phone.

brooklyn sat there in silence. she didn’t know how to react. she didn’t know if this was permanent or just a temporary side effect. she didn’t know if she lost her.

a few minutes later, sage’s family arrived.

”hey brooklyn, have you seen her yet?” her brother asked.

”yeah. the doctor’s said she’ll be fine, but she doesn’t remember the last three months. they’re running tests now to see what’s going on.”

”oh.”

and a few minutes after that, mags arrived.

”hey, brooklyn,” he said before going over to hug her.

”hey, mags.”

the nurse walked out of the room and approached them. “you guys must be sage’s family,” she implied, looking at the people standing next to brooklyn.

”yeah,” they replied. 

“well, i have some good news and some bad news,” she started. “the good thing is that there is no physical damage to the brain. she’s okay. however, as you are probably aware, she doesn’t remember the past few months. there’s no way to tell when her memories will come back, if they ever will. for now, just try to surround her with constants in her. if you want her to remember again, the best way to do it is try to trigger, maybe even recreate significant ones. if you would like to see her, she’s allowed her family, and one non-family member.”

”brooklyn, you can—” mags started, but was interrupted.

”no, i already saw her. you go ahead,” brooklyn insisted.

“okay.” mags followed behind sage’s family, leaving brooklyn alone in the waiting room.

brooklyn sat alone with her thoughts for a few minutes before deciding she should just go home. _i’m not wanted here,_ she thought. 

when she got home, she got a call from aliyah.

"hey." brooklyn's tone clearly indicated she was upset.

"hey, brooks. what's wrong?"

"i just came back from the hospital."

"how's sage? is she okay?" she asked.

"sage is fine."

"then why do you sound like you're not?"

"she doesn't know who i am."

"what do you mean? she has like amnesia?"

"yeah, just the last three months. the doctors said there's no way of telling if they'll ever come back. she suggested we try and trigger them or whatever. like recreate them."  
  


"so they might come back! she could remember them again." 

"i don't know if i want to recreate them."

"why not?" 

"if they don't work, it'll just make me more upset. besides, it's not all up to me."

"i know, but in my opinion, i think it's worth in a shot. you guys are so good together and i've honestly never seen you this happy, brooks."

"i know. it's just all a lot to process."

"yeah, well if you need anythi—"

"wait, hold on, i'm getting another call."

brooklyn removed the phone from her ear.

sage was calling.

"um, aliyah, i'll call you later. sage is calling me."

"okay. good luck. bye brooks." 

"bye."

brooklyn hung up on aliyah and accepted sage's call.

"um hey," brooklyn responded awkwardly.

"hey..." sage said, just as awkward.

"uh, how are you feeling?"

"i'm okay. i just wanted to apologize for how i acted earlier. i didn't know—"

"it's okay, sage. i get it." brooklyn interrupted.

"wow, interrupt much?" sage asked passive aggressively.

"oh i'm uh, i'm sorry." 

"yeah. well that's all, i guess i'll see you around." 

"um okay, bye—" brooklyn was cut off by sage hanging up the phone.

_that was the weirdest phone call..._ brooklyn thought to herself.

they were not getting off the right foot.


	3. Chapter 3

_"babe, do you have any syrup?" brooklyn yelled from the other room._

_"yeah, there should be some in the fridge. i just went to the store yesterday," sage responded._

_"i don't see any. can you come here and look?"_

_"just a minute." sage got up and left her bedroom._ _when she entered the kitchen, brooklyn was standing by the refrigerator. sage opened it and pointed directly at the syrup. "are you blind? it's right here," she laughed._

_"oh. yay!" brooklyn smiled._

_"you just wanted me to come out here, didn't you?"_

_"mayyyyybe..." brooklyn whispered as she pulled sage in for a kiss. it was short and sweet. "i just missed your face," she pouted._

_"i missed yours."_

_brooklyn put her arms around sage's waist and pulled her closer as sage put her arms around brooklyn's neck. she smiled. "my god, you've turned me soft."_

_"i know, i love you," sage slipped out. her facial expression went blank as she realized what she did. "i mean, i— i love it. i didn't mean to... i— i didn't mean to say that..."_

_brooklyn just looked at sage. she smirked and waited for her to finish talking._

_"what i mean to say is... i didn't mean to say that, but... i do mean it," she said looking down._

_brooklyn moved one of her hands up from sage's waist and put it on her face. sage looked at her. brooklyn kissed her softly. when they pulled away, brooklyn looked back up at sage. "i love you," she said sweetly._

_sage smiled and pulled her back in for another kiss._

she woke up from her dream in a daze. 

"sage, are you okay?" her sister asked.

"yeah, yeah, i'm okay. i just had a weird dream." 

_or a memory_ she thought. she couldn't tell which it was. 

she left her room. her brother was in the kitchen, eating breakfast. 

"hey, can you tell grans that i'm going out for a bit if they ask?" 

"sure, where are you going?" he asked.

"just going over to mags," she replied.

"you're going to reform? are you sure that's smart given what just happened?" 

"i appreciate the concern, but i'll be fine.”

"okay. just call me if you need anything.”

"i will. bye, i'll be back in a few hours," she said on her way out the door.

she knocked on mags' door.

he opened it. "sage? what are you doing here, it's eight in the morning," he asked. sage walked over to the couch and he followed. “sage, what’s going on?” he asked, sitting next to her.

"did i ever tell brooklyn i loved her?"

"i don't really... i don't know. you didn't really talk about it that much..." he said, obviously lying.

"mags... c'mon. i do remember that i tell you everything. so did we ever exchange 'i love you's?" 

"well... about a week ago, you told me that you thought you loved her. i don't know if you actually told _her_ that or if she told you she loved you," he said. "why are you wondering?"

"i had a dream. it was giddily and soft and... i was happy. we were in the my kitchen and in the dream i told her i loved her. and she said she loved me too. the problem is, i don't know if it was real or not, and it's driving me insane."

"well... there is one way to find out..." he drifted off.

sage realized what he was implying. "nope, nope. absolutely not."

"why not? she's the only one that would know."

"i don't want to talk to her."

"why not?"

"she's a stranger to me."

"but you're not to her. and either way this dream means something to you."

"what do you mean?"

"well if it's just a dream, that means you're still thinking about her. it means that just because your head forgot who she was doesn't mean your heart did."

"i feel like it's not that deep."

"well it means you're thinking about her whether you like it or not."

"whatever. what does it mean if it's a memory?"

"it means that you could remember more memories. or at least that you can still remember that you were happy with her. that you love her."

"i hate it when you're right."

"i always am, you'd think you'd be used to it by now," he grinned. she rolled her eyes at him. "just go talk to her, sage. i'm sure she misses you anyway."

"i'm scared."

"why?"

"what if she doesn't want to see me?"

"sage... as someone who does remember the last three months and how that girl acted around you during that time, i assure you, she always wants to see you."

"i don't even know where she lives."

"i'll send you her address. now stop making excuses and get over there... so i can go back to sleep," he muttered that last part, letting out a chuckle.

sage walked over to brooklyn’s house. when she reached her street, she saw a girl look at her weirdly. seconds later, the girl was walking towards her.

”sage, hey!” she said, approaching her.

”i’m um... i’m sorry, i don’t—”

”oh, right! i’m sorry, brooks told me. i’m her best friend, my name’s aliyah.”

”oh it’s uh— it’s nice to meet you... again,” sage chuckled.

“so, are you going to her place too?”

”yeah, if you guys had plans, i can come back later. she’s not expecting me.”

”no no, it’s okay. she’s not expecting me either,” she laughed 

”okay,” sage smiled. the two continued walking towards brooklyn’s house. 

“so, why are you going to brooklyn’s?” aliyah asked. when sage didn’t respond at first, she took that as hesitation. “i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to pry, i’m just curious.”

“it’s okay. i just need to talk to her. i thought i could just go on with my life and ignore the fact there’s a three-month long hole in my life, but i can't."

"i get it," aliyah smiled. a few seconds later they arrived and knocked on the door. the door slightly opened.

"hey aliyah," brooklyn said. she opened the door a little more and saw a familiar face next to her best friend. "sage?" 

"hey," sage replied shyly.

"what are you guys doing here? is there something wrong?" brooklyn asked. "oh no, did mags lose his memory too?" she joked.

sage let out a little laugh, which brooklyn thought was the most adorable thing she'd ever seen. she couldn't help but smile at her.

"very funny, no. we just ran into each other, we were both on our way to see you," aliyah replied.

"oh okay," brooklyn said. "come in then."

both girls followed the singer into her house. brooklyn stood at the edge of the island, letting aliyah and sage sit in the stools next to her.

"do you guys want anything to drink?" brooklyn offered.

"i'm good," sage responded.

"me too— oh shit," aliyah checked her phone and read her texts. her face filled with confusion and she stood up. "i'm sorry guys, i gotta go." 

"is everything okay?" brooklyn asked worriedly. 

"yeah, i just need to get home. just some family stuff. i'll catch you guys later," aliyah said before rushing out the door, leaving sage and brooklyn alone.

after the door shut, brooklyn turned to look at sage. she looked at the dancer awkwardly before moving to sit down at the empty bar stool. sage smiled lightly and began fidgeting with her hands. 

"so, what are you doing here?" brooklyn asked. "not to sound like i don't want you here, i do. but i just..." brooklyn took a deep breath. she didn't ever get this flustered or nervous. "why don't you talk?" she laughed softly.

"well, i wanted to talk to you," sage smiled. "i had a dream last night... about you..." 

"a dream?"

"yes. it was a dream, but it felt so real. i don't know if it's just a dream or if it was a memory that came back."

"well, what happened in this dream?"

"we were at my house in the morning. you yelled from the kitchen and asked me if i had any syrup. i was in my bedroom, but i got up and helped you look for it. you were just being pouty that i didn't come out to the kitchen with you, so you just said that as an excuse to get me to get up." sage began looking down. she hoped it really happened, because she felt embarassed just talking about it.

brooklyn noticed her discomfort when sage paused for a minute. "what happened after that?" she asked. 

"well you... you kissed me," sage said, looking back up at brooklyn. "and i accidently told you that i... i loved you."

brooklyn looked shocked. probably because she was. 

"based on your reaction, i'm guessing it was just a dream."

"yeah, i'm sorry. that didn't happen," brooklyn said. she didn't know what else to say. she didn't know what this dream meant. she didn't know if sage loved her before she lost her memory or if this would change anything.

sage smiled awkwardly and sighed. "what does this mean?"

"i don't know."

"i don't know what to do. i don't understand how i feel, it doesn't make sense. are we dating? am i still your girlfriend? i don't get it," sage let out.

"sage... i don't know what we are now," brooklyn said sadly. 

"i'm sorry that i don't remember," sage whispered.

"hey, no." brooklyn grabbed both her hands and scooted her stool closer to the other girl's. "it's not your fault. i don't blame you at all."

"i want to remember them. i want to remember _you_." 

brooklyn looked deeply into sage's eyes. "i know," she said. sage continued looking down at the floor. "how about we start over? we go back to being friends. we don't have to rush anything, we can take it slow. we can just get to know each other all over again, or... you can get to know me i guess," she laughed.

"i like that idea," sage smiled. “why are you so good to me?”

“what? you don’t deserve it?” brooklyn asked.

”sorry, forget i asked,” sage said insecurely.

”sage... you’re the best person i know. if you didn’t want to talk me at all after yesterday, i would respect your decision. i just want you to be happy,” she said sweetly.

the girls just looked at each other for a minute before sage spoke up again. “i’m sorry for how i acted over the phone yesterday. i think i was just upset and i took it out on you. but you didn’t deserve that and i’m sorry.”

”it’s okay. i’m not mad at you.”

”good, because that’s not a good way to start off a new friendship,” she joked.

”no kidding.”


	4. Chapter 4

**one week later**

sage and brooklyn were sitting on the couch in brooklyn's house. they'd been hanging out almost every day since they decided to take a step back and try to rebuild their relationship. brooklyn felt they were seeing each other a lot recently for 'taking it slow,' but sage was infatuated with her, and brooklyn didn't mind it. 

"so you think that the sixteen candles is better than the breakfast club?"

"absolutely," brooklyn responds. "molly ringwald is one of my favorite actresses."

"have you even watched the breakfast club? she's literally a main character in it," sage chuckled.

"okay... so maybe i haven't seen the breakfast club..." brooklyn looked down. both girls laughed.

"okay then. we're watching it tonight."

"oh, we can't tonight. aliyah invited us over. i forgot to tell you."

"us?"

"you, me, mags, bodhi, and her friends apollo and tempo. you haven't met them yet."

"that's an odd group." sage raised her eyebrow.

"not really. aliyah and mags are pretty good friends now and she's dating bodhi. apollo and tempo—"

"aliyah's dating bodhi???" sage asked, absolutely shocked.

"oh right... i guess you don't remember that either," brooklyn chuckled. "they've only been dating for like a week, but they're a good match."

"aww i'm happy for them both."

"yeah," brooklyn responded, awkwardly. 

"so, if we can't hang out and watch it tonight, what about tomorrow night?" 

"tomorrow works." brooklyn smiled.

"i should probably get going," sage said, getting up. brooklyn nodded and walked her to the door.

"i'll see you later tonight," brooklyn said. the other girl smiled at her. she shot her head up and gave brooklyn a quick peck on the cheek. both of them blushed.

sage grabbed one of brooklyn's hands and squeezed it for a second. "bye," she said, walking out the door.

brooklyn closed the door and smiled to herself.

"you look happy," her mom said, walking into the room. brooklyn didn't reply, she just grinned. "are you and sage back together yet?"

"no. we're taking things slow, remember." 

"i know, i know. you two just seem to be hanging out a lot."

"yeah, well... she doesn't know me very well anymore."

"i get it. i hope you guys do get back together though. i've never seen you as happy as you've been the past few months."

"me too," brooklyn said.

aliyah told everyone to come over to her house around 7.

when sage got there, brooklyn and everyone else was already there.

"hey guys," she said, walking in the door.

everyone greeted her as she came into the living room. she sat next to brooklyn on the couch, who was next to mags. bohdi and aliyah took one of the loveseats, while tempo and apollo occupied the other one.

"hey there," brooklyn seperately greeted, once sage sat down.

"hey." sage smiled.

"sage, i'm apollo, and this is tempo," the boy said. tempo raised his hand briefly to substitute a wave. 

"hi," she said. "aliyah, where's your bathroom?"

"it's over—" she started.

"i can show you. i was about to get up and get a snack from the kitchen anyways," brooklyn interrupted. 

the two got up and made there way over to the kitchen. 

"it's around the corner," brooklyn said while facing the pantry and shuffling through the bags of chips.

"thanks." sage went around the corner and into the bathroom.

brooklyn found a bag of popcorn and put it in the microwave. about a minute later, sage walked back into the kitchen.

"you're still in here?" sage asked. she stood next to the island, leaning her arm on it.

brooklyn pointed to the microwave and stood next to the dancer—a little closer than deemed friendly. 

"so... tempo and apollo seem nice..." sage said nervously making small talk.

"they are. i've always kinda thought they liked each other." brooklyn whispered the last part.

"like more than friends?"

"yeah, more than friends." 

"maybe they're just nervous to make a move." sage switched between looking at brooklyn's eyes and her lips. the singer noticed it and smirked.

"maybe..." brooklyn drifted off as both girls instinctively moved in closer. right before their lips touched, mags walked right in. sage was startled and moved away from brooklyn. 

"hey guys— oh. i'm sorry," he said. "i'll just— i'll be back in the living room. you guys can continue whatever it is... you're doing. sorry." he walked back out.

after he left, brooklyn looked at sage, who was nervously rubbing the back of her neck. the microwave started beeping. brooklyn got the popcorn out of bag and put into a bowl, then started to walk away. "you coming?" she laughed.

"oh, yeah." sage broke out of her daze and followed brooklyn into the living room.

the rest of the night was normal, just a group of friends hanging out. of course all that was on brooklyn and sage's minds was their little moment in the kitchen.

a few minutes before everyone left, brooklyn got a text from an unknown number.

**unknown:** hey

**brooklyn:** um who is this?

**unknown:** that doesn't matter. all that you need to know is that you have to end whatever you have going on with sage

**brooklyn:** i'm sorry? 

**unknown:** just do it, or i'll tell her what really happened the day of the riots

brooklyn shut her phone off and ignored it. sage noticed a worried look on her face as everyone was walking out.

"are you okay?" she asked.

"yeah, yeah." brooklyn forced a smile. "i'll see you tomorrow?"

"absolutely."

sage pulled brooklyn in for a hug and they went their seperate ways.


	5. Chapter 5

**unknown:** tell me brooklyn, what was so important that you ditched sage that day?

**brooklyn:** why would i tell you anything? i don't even know who you are

**unknown:** my name's not important. what's important is that you break off your little relationship with sage or i tell her everything

brooklyn looked down at her phone, seeing the new message. she just ignored it and set her phone on her nightstand. her mom came into her room.

"hey brooks, i'm leaving. are you sure you're going to be okay by yourself all night?" she asked. her mom was leaving for the night to stay with brooklyn's grandmother and check up on her. 

"i'll be okay."

"okay. if you need anything i'm just a phone call away." 

"i know."

there was sudden knock at the door. 

"are you expecting someone?" 

"yeah, sage wanted to come over for a few hours, if that's okay?" 

"yeah, sure. i'll let her in on my way out."

moments later, sage was knocking on her door and her mom was gone.

"anybody in here?" she asked jokingly.

"yeah, come in," brooklyn laughed. she sat up and sage approached her, sitting next to her. "you seem very energized."

"i had a coffee this morning," sage said. "your room is cute. pretty much what i expected."

brooklyn didn't respond, she just stared at her.

"what?" sage asked, becoming self-conscious.

"nothing it's just..." brooklyn started smiling softly. "that's exactly what you said the first time you came in my room. like word for word."

"really?" 

"yeah." brooklyn slowly averted her eyes from the brunette's. "so, movie?"

"yes."

the two girls got up and made their way to brooklyn's living room. they sat next to each other and shared a blanket. 

"so, what are we watching? sixteen candles?" brooklyn joked. sage rolled her eyes and smiled. 

"i don't trust you with the remote." sage tried to grab the remote but just ended up wrapping her hand around brooklyn's. awkwardly, she let go of it and put both her hands back under the blanket. with sage sitting on her right, brooklyn used her left hand to turn the movie on and her right hand to intertwine it with sage's under the blanket. this took sage by surprise, but she was completely okay with it. she was more than okay with it. 

about twenty minutes into the movie, brooklyn let go of sage's hand. sage gave a confused look and turned to her. brooklyn then immediately regretted doing that.

"um... i'm sorry..." brooklyn looked back at her. "i did it out of reflex and i didn't know if you'd be okay with it." sage just looked at her, she wanted to respond, but she also wanted to hear how brooklyn felt. "i just know we agreed to take things slow and i feel like i was acting a little pushy yesterday at aliyah's and i just honestly don't know how to act around you."

"brooklyn..." she started.

"yes?" 

sage looked at brooklyn's lips, then back up at her eyes. "what if i don't want to take things slow anymore?"

before brooklyn could react, sage put her hands on brooklyn's neck and leaned in for a kiss. it took brooklyn a second to process what was happening, but once she did, she rested her hands around sage's waist and pulled her closer to her. their lips were completely flowing together and in sync. they stayed like that for a minute before sage pulled away for a second so they could both get some air. her heart fluttered when she felt the singer's lips chase her own.

when sage leaned back in, the kiss was much more passionate. sage began to lay down and pull brooklyn on top of her. brooklyn obliged and followed the dancer's movements. sage pulled brooklyn as close to her as possible. just as brooklyn was about to run her tongue along sage's bottom lip, they heard sage's phone go off.

"ignore it," sage whispered, crashing her lips back into brooklyn's. it rang again and again. "ugh," sage groaned. not removing herself from underneath brooklyn, she picked up her phone and looked at it.

"it's sierra," she said.

"who's sierra?" brooklyn asked.

"she's my ex... we broke like four months ago i guess? something like that."

"are you going to pick up?"

"i mean... i guess. she won't stop calling, it must be important." 

brooklyn didn't know if she was allowed to be upset at this sage because old sage never told her about this sierra girl, but that was the least of her concerns.

"hello?" sage said.

brooklyn just heard a muffled voice that she couldn't understand go on and on. sage barely got a word in. about later, sage hung up the phone. she sat up, removing herself from under brooklyn.

"are you okay?"

"were you supposed to meet me in reform?" sage asked, not looking at brooklyn

"wait— what?" 

"the day i lost my memory. were you supposed to be there?"

brooklyn chuckled lightly "sage..."

"so... you stood me up..." 

brooklyn could tell sage wasn't joking around. she didn't respond back, in fear that she would say the wrong thing and lose her all over again. sage took that as an answer.

"it's getting kind of late, i think i should get going." sage stood up and began walking towards the door.

"sage, wait... i'm sorry..." 

"i just... i can't deal with this right now... i—"

sage was interrupted by a blaring alarm outside. suddenly a man came on the speakers. "attention: if you live in or are currently in the reform sector or the industry sector, do not leave your house. i repeat: do not leave your house. there has been a breach in the outer shield and we advise that you do not leave the house. if you do, you will get arrested. this is effective immediately and is to continue indefinitely."

"so... i guess you're stuck here." brooklyn said, chuckling slightly, attempting to lighten up the mood. sage glared at her. "sage... please just hear me out..." brooklyn approached sage. she grabbed her both of her hands and looked at her.

sage sighed and looked at her. "brooks... i just can't right now. please. i just want to get some sleep, can we talk tomorrow?"

"of course. you can sleep in the guest bedroom, it's to the right of my room," brooklyn said. "goodnight, sweet sage."

sage forced a soft smile and began walking away from brooklyn. 


	6. Chapter 6

sage woke up to the smell of warm pancakes and sizzling bacon. she got up and made her way to kitchen, only to find brooklyn blasting music and dancing while cooking. when she turned around and noticed sage, she turned the music down.

"oh, hey. i'm sorry, i didn't wake you, did i?" she asked.

"no."

"good." brooklyn turned the stove off and got two plates out. she set one down and filled the other with food. "help yourself," she smiled.

"i'm not hungry," sage said, sitting down at the island.

"sage... you're always hungry in the morning," brooklyn looked back at her. sage didn't respond. "it's just breakfast."

sage sighed and stood up to get some food. "thanks," she said, sitting back down.

"how'd you sleep?"

"fine," she said dryly, avoiding eye contact. brooklyn looked at her and nodded defeatingly.

the two didn't say anything else during breakfast.

afterwards, brooklyn went to the living room and turned the tv on. a few minutes later, sage came in. she didn't say anything, she just walked up to brooklyn. suddenly, sage sat on brooklyn's lap, facing her and straddling her. she wrapped her arms around her neck.

"sage... what are you—" brooklyn was interrupted by sage's lips crashing into hers. it was rough and needy. brooklyn couldn't think straight and kissed her back just as hard instinctively. sage began grinding up against brooklyn. brooklyn put her hands on sage's back, then eventually up her shirt. things heat up quickly and before they knew it, their tongues were wrestling in their mouths. 

their makeout session continued even once the announcement speakers outside came on. "attention: the breach has been dealt with, you are now free to leave your homes. i repeat: you are now free to leave your homes."

brooklyn pulled away for a second. "you're allowed to leave if you want to."

"i don't want to." sage whispered in between kisses. 

at that point, brooklyn was able to collect her thoughts and think a least a little rationally. "wait a minute," brooklyn pulls her head away completely and removes her hands from underneath sage's shirt. "so, i'm just forgiven like that?"

"just because i can't control myself around you, doesn't mean i'm not upset with you anymore," she said nonchalantly.

"what? so you're still mad? i don't get it."

before sage could say anything else, her phone went off. it was a call from mags, so she picked up.

"what?" she asked.

"uhhh sorry... were you busy?" he asked, picking up on sage's clearly upset mood.

"no, sorry. what's up?" she said more nicely.

"so, i was just wondering if you wanted to get lunch with aliyah and i? you could call brooklyn and invite her too."

"she's right here."

"oh. you were there all night?"

"i didn't exactly have a choice."

"right... right... well if you want to come, just meet us at the cafe in progress in an hour." 

"okay, bye."

"bye."

sage hung up the phone.

"who was that?" brooklyn asked.

"mags. we're going to lunch with him and aliyah in an hour."

"oh, okay."

"so, i'm going to run home and get a change of clothes," sage said, getting off brooklyn's lap.

"okay... are we—are we gonna talk about what just happened?" brooklyn asked, getting up off the couch as well.

"what's there to talk about?"

"well you kissed me, then you told me you're still mad at me and you only kissed me because you don't have any self-control. that doesn't sound like something worth talking about?"

"seems like you just explained it pretty well," sage grabbed her bag and phone and walked up to the door.

"sage... what is going on?" brooklyn stopped her from opening the door.

"you tell me."

"i have no idea!"

"think of it like breakup sex, but minus the sex."

"but how can we breakup if we weren't even dating?"

"i said think of it _like_ breakup sex. god, you don't have to take everything so literal."

"i'm not—i'm just really confused."

"i should really go."

"wait i—" brooklyn started, but it was too late. 

sage was already out the door.


	7. Chapter 7

brooklyn walked into the cafe not really knowing what to expect. she was still completely in shock from this morning and trying to figure out what was going on with her and sage. she spotted her with mags and aliyah sitting at a table near the window. when she walked over, she sat next to sage, across from mags and aliyah.

"hey brooks!" mags greeted. sage just smiled briefly at her.  "wait, why didn't you two just come together?" mags asked.

"i had to run home and change," sage responded.

"wait sage- were you at brooklyn's all night?" aliyah asked.

"yes."

"does this mean you guys are like... back together finally?" she asked.

"i was only there because of the whole lockdown thing," sage replied defensively.

"that was the only reason?" mags wiggled his eyebrows. 

"we're not back together and we never will be," sage said harshly. shock overcame brooklyn's face as she turned to sage.

mags eyes widened as he looked at sage. everyone at the table could tell he regretting asking that. aliyah looked just as confused as him.

"i thought that i made that clear this morning..." sage said to brooklyn, raising an eyebrow.

"you didn't make anything clear this morning—" brooklyn started. then she took a deep breath. "you know what, no. i can't do this right now." she picked her up bag and got up.

once she walked out the door, aliyah said "i'm going to go talk her," and got up to leave as well.

"what the hell just happened?" mags asked once aliyah left.

"she got upset." sage shrugged.

"what is going on with you two? at aliyah's you were all close and i saw you guys almost kiss. what could have possibly happened in like a day and half?"

before sage could reply, a girl walked up to them. mags rolled his eyes as she sat down next to sage. "have you guys tried their avocado toast here? i just ordered it at my table, but now i'm having second thoughts."

"what are you doing here, sierra?" mags asked.  


"this is a public place, magnus," she laughed. "i'm just here with my friends."

"i meant right in front of me," he clarified, obviously not amused by her response.

"oh! well, i just wanted to see if you guys—specifically sage—were going to the huge party at progress tonight?" she asked. mags glared at her.

"a party sounds fun! mags, how about it?" sage asked. he rolled his eyes again and didn't respond. 

"well i'll let you two talk about it. i'll text you address, sage." she winked at her and went back to her table. 

"so, are you and sierra back together then?" mags asked, annoyed.

"no... but we are good terms, i guess. i have her to thank for opening my eyes about brooklyn."

"opening your eyes about her? whatever she said about brooklyn, it's probably a lie. brooklyn's like the nicest person i've ever met."

"she told me that she stood me up the day of the riots," sage responded. 

"oh," he said. 

"and based on that reaction, i'm guessing you already knew that."

"well, did sierra tell you _why_ she wasn't there?"

"yes, she did."

"then...why are you mad?" he raised an eyebrow.

"are you kidding me?" sage chuckled. "how is that even a question?"

"because...i think her reason was pretty valid. or at least worth a conversation with her. based on what happened a couple minutes, it seems like you didn't even give her that."

"she doesn't deserve a conversation. i don't owe her anything."

"i'm not saying you 'owe her' anything, i'm just suggesting you talk to her about it instead of only listening to the point of view of your insane ex. i don't even know how she found out about it."

"you know...i can't believe you knew this whole time and you didn't tell me. i thought you were supposed to be my best friend." sage got up and left the cafe as well. 

meanwhile, when aliyah finally caught up to brooklyn, she stopped her.

"brooks, what's going on? are you okay?"

"i have no idea," she said.

"what happened with you and sage?"

"at your house, friday night, i got a text from an unknown number. they told me that i had to 'break up' whatever i had going on with sage or they were going to tell her about what happened the day she lost her memory. the person kept texting me yesterday, but i just ignored it. then, last night, sagee came over and it was great. we kissed and it was... great. but then she got a phone call from her ex-girlfriend. well it turns out her ex was the one texting me. i didn't hear exactly what she said but ever since then sage has basically hated me. i mean... i know what i did was wrong, but she'll barely speak to me. this morning, out of the blue, she kissed me again. then mags called her and interrupted it and she just walked away like it never happened. she said she didn't want to talk about it, she was still upset with me. then, she went home to change and get ready for lunch."

"oh shit. that is a lot," aliyah said. "i am so sorry."

"i'm—i'm sorry aliyah... i'm just going to go home..." she started to walk away.

"wait!" aliyah stopped her again. "are you going to the party in progress tonight?" 

"i don't know. i'll think about it. i'll see you later."

"okay. i love you brooks." she hugged her.

"i love you too."

later, brooklyn got a text from mags.

** mags: ** are you going tonight?

** brooklyn: ** maybe

** brooklyn: ** i don't know if i'm up for it

** mags: ** i get it... sage told me everything

** mags: ** if it makes you feel any better, i think she's totally overreacting

**brooklyn:** i should've talked to her about it before sierra got the chance to

 **brooklyn:** now i think it's too late

**mags:** i'm sorry. i tried talking to her but i just think she's not ready to listen

 **mags:** i will say though, it's a good thing you left when you did. sierra came over to our table right after you did

**brooklyn:** she did?

**mags:** yeah, she's the one who told us about the party

**brooklyn:** does that mean sage is going?

**mags:** yes. and that sierra is going to be there

 **mags:** brooklyn, if you wanna fix what you have with sage, i would go tonight

 **mags:** because knowning sierra, she's going to try and get back with sage now that they're on friendly terms

brooklyn set her phone down.

she was going to be at that party.


	8. Chapter 8

"are you sure that you wanna go to this? because we could totally ditch and get drunk somewhere else," aliyah suggested, rummaging through her closet. "ugh," she groaned, "i have absolutely nothing to wear. we need to go shopping." she turned around when she didn't hear brooklyn respond. brooklyn was sitting on aliyah's bed in a daze. "hey... like i said... we don't have to go to this party," aliyah said, walking over and sitting next to her to comfort her.

"no, i want to go. i have to go," she explained. "i need to see sage... and this might be my last chance to talk to her before i completely lose her to sierra."

"i get it,” she said sympathetically. “but if we're going to go, we need to get you changed. you can't get sage back in _that_ blouse," aliyah joked.

"what's wrong with it?" she laughed softly.

"nothing, but..." aliyah stood up and walked back to her closet. she immediately pulled out a dress, "this dress would look really hot on you. red is your color."

brooklyn chuckled and stood up. "fine."

when aliyah and brooklyn got to the party, the house was packed. there were ping pong balls flying from every direction and entrance was so crowded that you could barely get in.

“i’m gonna go get us drinks, you want beer?” aliyah offered.

”yeah, sure, whatever,” brooklyn responded, looking around the room to see if she could spot sage.

aliyah left her and soon enough she did find sage. she was chatting with sierra in the corner of the room. sierra was obviously flirting with her, but sage was uninterested. however, when she noticed brooklyn across the room, she grabbed sierra’s hand and dragged her onto the dance floor.

mags walked up behind brooklyn, not interrupting her not-so-subtle staring. 

“did sage ever tell you about sierra?” he asked.

”no. i didn’t even know she existed before last night,” brooklyn said, turning her attention towards mags.

”they dated for about two years. she used to go to school with sage before she moved to progress. their breakup was messy. honestly, i was a little surprised when she opened her heart up to you so soon after they ended things.”

”how did things end?” 

“sierra cheated on her. but the thing about sierra is that she’s manipulative and very convincing. they stayed together even after sage found out. then they finally broke up when sierra dumped her for some other girl in nature.”

”oh,” is all brooklyn could get out. she understood why sage didn’t tell her about sierra now.

”sage can be the sweetest person... but when she gets hurt, she doesn’t handle it well. she tends to go back to people that have hurt her,” he said. “i know that you’re nothing like sierra. you’re kind and loving. you genuinely care about people. i love sage, but even i can agree, she’s making the wrong choice right now.”

”thanks, mags,” she said. “i really appreciate how much you’re standing up for me and being on my side about this... but i think you should talk to sage. you guys have been friends forever and i don’t want to be the reason you throw that away.”

”it’s okay, brooklyn. you’re not the reason, she is. and i am going to go talk to her, but to tell her she’s making a mistake. and to tell her that i can’t sit and watch her self-destruct yet again.” before brooklyn could get another word in, he was making his way over to sage and sierra.

brooklyn watched him walk over there, but aliyah came back seconds later. brooklyn turned to her.

”here.” she handed her the drink.

”thanks,” brooklyn said. “so, is bohdi here?”

”no, he wasn’t feeling good so he decided to stay home tonight.”

”how are things with you two?” she asked. it was obvious she wanted to talk about anything or anyone other than sage.

”things are good. he’s really sweet.” aliyah smiled. “also guess what!” 

“what?”

”tempo called me last night... he’s thinking of asking apollo out.”

brooklyn chuckled. “you’re kidding. i fucking called it.” 

“that you did.”

”do you think he’ll actually go through with it?” 

“he seems to really like him, so i think so. but we’ll just have to see.”

“i hope so, they’d be so cute!” brooklyn laughed softly.

“me too, they’re just meant for each other.” her eyes widened quickly, then they went back to normal, like she was trying to hide what she saw.

”what?” brooklyn said turned back around.

”no don’t—” aliyah tried to stop her but it was too late.

even with mags standing right there, pissed as hell, sierra’s tongue was basically down sage’s throat. before she could see anymore of it, she rushed outside and walked away from the party.

**a minute earlier**

mags made his way over to the girls.

”sage, i need to talk to you.”

sage and sierra quit dancing. sage looked at him and sierra just rolled her eyes.

”what do you want, mags?” sage said.

”you’re making a mistake. you’re better than this,” mags started. “she’s insane!” he said looking directly at sierra. “are you really willing to throw away what you have with brooklyn because she missed _one_ date? compared to things sierra’s done?”

”they’re the same person,” sage said, starting to get a little angry.

”um... can i comment on this?” sierra asked.

“brooklyn and sierra are the same,” sage continued, completely ignoring sierra at this point. “i cannot believe you have the audacity to come over here and tell me that i should be with brooklyn after she cheated on me.”

”wait—what?” mags shook his head in surprise.

”the day i lost my memory. she was with another girl. you said you knew that already.”

”sage, there was no other girl. brooklyn never cheated on you. i told you that _she_ is a complete liar,” he pointed to sierra saying the last part.

”she didn’t?” sage asked. her anger decreased severely and she began to feel stupid for believing sierra.

“no. she was with her mom all day and lost track of time, and trust me, she had a lot on her mind. when she heard what happened, she dropped everything to go see you—”

mags felt interrupted by sierra quickly kissing sage. once sage processed what was going on, she pulled away from sierra. she looked up and saw brooklyn storm out. sage ran after her.

”brooklyn! wait.” she tried to catch up with her.

brooklyn stopped reluctantly and turned to face the shorter girl. ”sage, i’m really not in the mood for your lack of self-control,” she looked down.

”brooks, i’m so sorry.” sage moved closer to her. when she didn’t respond, sage grabbed both of her hands and tilted her head down so the singer would look at her. “brooklyn...”

brooklyn slowly let go of the other girl’s hands and looked up at her. “you’re sorry? why are you even here sage? five minutes ago, i would’ve begged you to listen to me... to even talk to me. but now i can see that you don’t care and there’s no point. so please... just leave me alone.”

sage waited a few seconds and sighed. she realized that no matter what she said, she couldn’t make it better right now. “okay,” she breathed in defeat. 

brooklyn turned around and walked away without looking back.


	9. Chapter 9

after sage woke up, she sat up in her bed and scrolled through her social media. she didn’t mean to end up stalking brooklyn on every platform but that’s just what happened. 

sage contemplated what to do next. she didn’t want to wait too long to talk to brooklyn because she didn’t want to seem like she didn’t care.  she thought about texting her, but dismissed the idea because she wanted to talk to her in person and there was no guarantee that brooklyn would respond to a text from her.

she called mags. it rang a few times before he picked up.

”sage?” he said groggily, obviously just waking up. 

”hey...” she said. she was hoping mags wasn’t upset with her anymore but she couldn’t tell. “i wanted to apologize.”

”apologize?” he questioned. normally she was a lot more stubborn when it came to their fights.

”yes. i’m sorry about how i acted yesterday. i was an asshole. i just felt so hurt thinking that brooklyn—well... you know. you’re the best friend i’ve ever had and i don’t know what i would do without you,” she said. when he didn’t respond immediately, she continued. “as much as i want to patch things up with brooks, i shouldn’t let my relationship, or whatever it is we have, affect my friendship with you. i don’t want to lose you.”

”i’m not going anywhere, sage.” she could hear his smile through the phone.

”that’s good,” she smiled as well.

”so... speaking of which, how are you and brooklyn? what happened last night after you guys left?” he asked, changing the subject.

”she doesn’t wanna talk to me. i don’t blame her, i was an ass to her too. i wanna apologize to her but she told me she wants me to leave her alone, so i guess that’s what i’ll do.”

”are you crazy?” he chuckled.

”what?”

”sweetie... i love you, but sometimes you’re absolutely oblivious. she doesn’t want you to leave her alone, she wants you to show her you still care by _not_ leaving her alone.”

”that makes no sense,” sage raised an eyebrow.

”she’s just hurt. i don’t know about you, but i’m betting the reason she left the party was because she saw you and sierra locking lips.”

”this seemed different... she seemed like she genuinely didn’t want to see me.”

”then maybe give her some time to cool off. but don’t give up on her,” he advised. “listen, i have to go, but i’ll talk to you later.”

they exchanged goodbyes and hung up the phone. 

a few hours later, sage found herself sitting in her car outside brooklyn's house. she'd been there for a good twenty minutes, deciding whether or not she would actually go inside. finally, she opened her car door and approached the house.

just as she arrived at the bottom of the stairs, she looked up and saw brooklyn walk out of the house.

"oh um..." sage froze in place and stared at her.

"sage? what are you doing here?" brooklyn asked. sage couldn't tell if she was happy or upset that she came.

"i just... i wanted to talk to you. i wanted to apologize to you," she started. at this point, brooklyn had come down the stairs and was standing next to her. she didn't say anything, obviously waiting for sage to continue. "i know you're really mad at me, but i am so sorry brooklyn."

"i'm not mad, sage. i'm just hurt... and tired," brooklyn said defeatedly.

"i didn't mean for any of this to happen. i mean, last night, when sierra—" sage was cut off by brooklyn.

"don't bother. it doesn't matter. like you made explicitly clear yesterday, we're never getting back together." brooklyn began walking away.

"but that's not what i want." sage grabbed her arm and turned her around to stop her. brooklyn sighed. "you haven't lost me yet," sage added.

"i already did lose you," brooklyn looked away from sage. she dropped her arm from sage's grasp. "i lost you when you lost your memory. whatever these past couple weeks have been..." she stopped her a second. sage noticed her eyes started to tear up. all she wanted to do was hug her and tell her everything would be okay. seeing her this upset killed her. but what killed her the most was knowing she felt this way because of her. "things are just... too complicated. this was a mistake."

"brooklyn..."

"i have to meet aliyah," she said sadly. "goodbye, sweet sage."

before sage could get another word in, she was gone. 

when sage got back to her house, it was about eight. she made herself dinner and went to her room. she called mags, but he didn't pick up. she then remembered he texted her earlier that he was going on a date with some guy he met at the party last night. she turned on the tv and got ready for bed.

she didn't know what to do with herself, frankly. she wanted to cry, but at the same time couldn't. she'd grown so attached to this person she'd known for just a couple weeks. she'd never connected with someone so fast, not to mention felt such an insane attraction towards them. she didn't feel like she could label it as love yet, but that's certainly how it felt. once she brushed her teeth and changed her clothes, she sat down on her bed. she picked her phone and hesitantly called brooklyn.

it rang a few times, before going to voicemail. she wasn't that surprised.

"hey... i know you're probably still with aliyah. and i know that you probably don't want to hear from me right now..." she paused. "i just wanted to tell that i'm so sorry. whatever you saw with sierra, it wasn't like that. she kissed me, but i didn't kiss her back. the other night when she called me... she told me you cheated on me. i know it's my fault for believing her... i should've talked to you before overreacting. but i was just so hurt and i wasn't thinking. mags didn't tell me what you were doing that day while i was in reform, but he told me it wasn't what i thought it was. anyways... i understand if you don't want to be with me or anything. i just wanted to explain everything... and to tell you that i don't think the past couple weeks were a mistake. if there's anything i can do—" the voicemail cut her off.

she sighed and turned her phone off. right as she laid down to go to sleep, she felt a single tear escape her eye. 

she would do anything to fix this.


	10. Chapter 10

**two weeks later**

in the past two weeks, things haven’t really changed much. sage and brooklyn haven’t spoken since that day in front of brooklyn’s house, and she never did return that phone call. brooklyn did, however, listen to the message constantly, wondering whether or not she _should_ call her back. whether or not she should tell her she doesn’t want things to be like this anymore. but even though she’s not mad, she’s still convinced things won’t ever be the same between her and sage. she didn’t want to think like that, but that’s what she genuinely believed.

brooklyn had barely left her house in a week. her mom was starting to worry at this point. aliyah had come over a few times, but other than that, brooklyn’s had almost no social contact.

it was about two in the afternoon, brooklyn was laying in her bed. she had the tv on but wasn’t even paying attention to it. she was just scrolling through instagram. 

her phone went off. mags was calling her. she thought it was a little weird, considering the two hadn’t spoken since the party, but she picked up anyway.

”um... hey, what’s up?” brooklyn said.

”hey, brooklyn,” mags said. “how are you?”

”i’m fine. what about you?”

”i’m pretty good. i wanted to check on you and make sure you’re okay.”

”that’s sweet of you. i’m doing okay, all things considered.”

”that’s good.”

there was a small moment of silence, the small talk was over and neither really knew what to say next.

”mags?” brooklyn broke the silence. “how is she?”

”she’s okay too,” he said. he stopped for a second, like he was debating saying the next part. “she misses you.”

”i miss her too,” brooklyn smiled to herself. “i wish things hadn’t gotten so out of control.”

”i mean... things aren’t really that out of control anymore, are they?”

”i know what you’re trying to do.”

”i’m sorry. i just have to ask... if you miss her, why aren’t you doing something about it?”

”it’s more complicated than that. do i miss her? yes, of course i do. but that doesn’t change anything. it’s so hard... reliving moments and them having a different outcome. i lost those memories too. yeah, i can remember them, but they don’t feel real anymore. they feel like a dream. i mean...” she stopped and chuckled lightly. “i love her. and because i love her, it just makes everything that much harder. i don’t deserve her. she’ll realize one day that she’s so much better off without me.”

”brooklyn... that is...” he started softly, before bringing out a slightly more aggressive tone. “the most bullshit excuse i’ve ever heard.”

”what?” she asked, a little shocked.

”you don’t deserve her? what the hell is that? i have seriously never seen two people as perfect for each other as you two. if you love her, tell her! don’t let go of something this special because things get hard.”

”but—”

”no buts! talk. to. her,” he finished strongly. brooklyn sighed. “goodbye.”

”bye,” she said, hanging up the phone. 

_maybe mags has a point,_ she thought to herself. regardless, she continued looking at her phone and ignoring her problems.

**earlier that day**

sage hadn’t gotten out of bed in at least a week. the first few days after she and brooklyn ‘ended’ things, she went into denial. she didn’t do anything out of the ordinary and pretending like everything was fine. eventually a rush of sadness hit her. she barely ate, she only talked to her best friend when he initiated conversation. to say the least, she was an absolute mess.

”rise and shine,” mags burst into sage’s room. it was around noon already and sage still hadn’t left her bed. “c’mon! get some real clothes on, we’re going to progress today for some shopping.”

”i don’t wanna,” sage whined into the pillow.

”too bad,” he said, walking over to her bed. “you need to stop moping around. you’ll only feel better if you try.” he pushed her over so that her face was out of the pillow and looking up at him. “get dressed and i’ll be waiting in the kitchen.”

when she changed clothes and was ready to go, they went to progress sector. “do we have to do this?” she asked him once they got out of the car.

”yes! i’ll buy you whatever you want,” he smiled. she chuckled in disbelief. “okay, i don’t have that much money, so i’ll buy you like one thing,” he laughed. she rolled her eyes jokingly.

when they finished shopping, they went back to sage’s house. they sat on her couch and put something on the tv just for some background noise. “so... no word from her still?” he asked a little cautiously.

”nothing,” sage said, looking down slightly. “i get that she doesn’t want to talk to me... i just miss her and i want to know if she’s okay.”

”well... do you want me to talk to her?”

”i don’t want to ask you do that.”

”you’re not asking, i’m offering. brooklyn and i are friends, it’s not weird.”

”okay.”

mags pulled out his phone and called brooklyn. it rung for a second before she picked up. he put it on speaker and held the phone to his mouth.

”um... hey, what’s up?” brooklyn greeted, sounding slightly confused. sage's eyes lit up a little at the sound of her voice.

”hey, brooklyn. how are you?” he asked, looking directly at sage.

”i’m fine," she responded. "what about you?"

”i’m pretty good. i wanted to check on you and make sure you’re okay.”

”that’s sweet of you. i’m doing okay, all things considered," she said. sage let out a soft smile.

”that’s good." mags looked at mags like he was asking her what he should say next. she just shrugged and mouthed 'i don't know.'

”mags? how is she?” she asked. 

”she’s okay too,” he said. he stopped for a second and looked at sage, who was looking down at the phone. “she misses you.” sage shot her head up to look at mags. he gave an apologetic expression to her.

”i miss her too,” brooklyn chuckled lightly. sage smiled a little to herself. she was happy to hear that the girl missed her, but she could sense a 'but' coming. “i wish things hadn’t gotten so out of control.”

”i mean... things aren’t really that out of control anymore, are they?”

”i know what you’re trying to do.”

”i’m sorry. i just have to ask... if you miss her, why aren’t you doing something about it?” he asked. sage raised an eyebrow at mags. she didn't know where he was getting with this, brooklyn had made it clear that they weren't going to get back together.

”it’s more complicated than that. do i miss her? yes, of course i do. but that doesn’t change anything. it’s so hard... reliving moments and them having a different outcome. i lost those memories too. yeah, i can remember them, but they don’t feel real anymore. they feel like a dream. i mean...” she stopped and chuckled lightly. “i love her." sage's eyes widened. mags smiled lightly, but he wasn't that surprised at her confession. "and because i love her, it just makes everything that much harder. i don’t deserve her. she’ll realize one day that she’s so much better off without me.” sage leaned her head against the back of the couch and ran one hand through her hair anxiously.

”brooklyn... that is...” he started softly. he looked away from sage and finished more aggressively, “the most bullshit excuse i’ve ever heard.”

”what?” she asked, clearly taken back by the statement.

”you don’t deserve her? what the hell is that? i have seriously never seen two people as perfect for each other as you two. if you love her, tell her! don’t let go of something this special because things get hard.” at this point, mags was trying to persuade brooklyn while sage seemed like she wasn't even paying attention to their conversation anymore.

”but—”

”no buts! talk. to. her,” he cut her off. brooklyn sighed. “goodbye,” he said.

”bye,” she said, hanging up.

"so... that went a bit different that i expected," he said, looking over at sage, who appeared to be stuck in a daze. "are you ok—"

"she loves me?" she asked, almost as if she didn't even believe it. 

"apparently."

sage didn't say anything else, she just sat there and tried to process the fact that brooklyn loves her.

that night, sage found herself on brooklyn's porch. she didn't really plan on it, but she had to talk to her. when she rang the doorbell, her mom yelled from inside, "i'll get it!" and opened the door.

"sage. it's good to see you." she smiled politely. 

"hi," sage said, a little awkwardly. "is brooklyn home?"

"yeah, come on in. she's in her room."

sage walked inside and made her way to her bedroom door. she leaned her head against the door and knocked a couple times.

"aliyah, i told you not to come over, i'm fine!" brooklyn shouted, not aggressively, just loud enough to be heard from the other side of the door.

sage didn't know what else to do, so she opened the door slightly, just enough to pop her head in. "actually, it's me. can i come in?"

brooklyn's eyes widened briefly and she quickly sat up in her bed. "yeah, come in."

sage walked in and closed the door behind her. she walked over to brooklyn's bed and sat next to her. the lower half of brooklyn's body was still underneath the blankets, but her legs were crossed and she was facing forward. sage sat in front of her legs, her body facing the wall, but her head turned towards brooklyn.

"hi..." brooklyn said. "what's going on? are you okay?" 

"yeah, everything's okay." sage chuckled softly. she smiled, seeing how concerned for her brooklyn looked. "well... not everything..." her smile quickly faded away.

"i'm guessing you're here because of mags?" brooklyn took her hands out from under the covers and fidgeted with them in front of her.

"i'm here because i miss you..." sage started to turn away from brooklyn, "a lot." she sighed heavily. "i can't stop thinking about you," she said more quietly.

"i miss you too."

"i'm sorry that i messed everything up." sage turned her face back to the singer and smiled sadly.

"it's not entirely your fault. i shouldn't have pushed you away. that wasn't fair of me. i guess i was just scared."

"you don't have to be scared, brooks. i'm still here. i will always be here."

"always?" brooklyn asked hopefully. she lowered her chin slowly, but her eyes never left sage's.

sage grabbed one of her hands and started to rug the back of it with her thumb. "always."

the two girls didn't say anything for about a minute. not because they didn't have anything to say, but because they hadn't been this close to each other in two weeks. they just sat and enjoyed each other's presence.

"i should tell you why i ditched you that day..."

"you don't have to right now... if you're not ready. i don't want you to feel pressured or anything—"

"stop." brooklyn moved her hand a little bit and intertwined their fingers. "i want to tell you." sage nodded, cueing her to continue. "that morning, i heard my mom on the phone with someone. i didn't mean to eavesdrop at first, i just overheard a little of her conversation. then i heard my name. turns out she was talking to my doctor... she said that i was dissonant."

"oh my god... brooklyn... i'm so sorry."

"don't be. i'm okay now. but that day, i wasn't. my mom and i spent hours talking about it, what it meant... why she never told me... but i didn't realize how late it was. honestly, our date just slipped my mind. i'm sorry that i didn't talk to you about this sooner, i just didn't know how."

"brooks... don't be sorry. i'm not upset with you at all. i just miss you and i'm so sorry that you had to go through that all by yourself."

"i should've called you..."

"what?"

"after you left me that voicemail... i should've called you. i wanted to, but i didn't." brooklyn let go of sage's hand and got up off the bed completely. sage raised an eyebrow and looked at her. brooklyn sat right next to her so that there was almost no space between them. "i'm sorry." sage just looked at her and giggled. brooklyn's heart melted and she grinned. "what?"

"how many times have we said 'i'm sorry' in the past five minutes?" sage asked, still smiling widely.

"a lot..."

"how about we just agree that we're both sorry?"

"done."

they just looked at each other and burst into laughter. "so, does this mean we're on good terms now?" brooklyn asked.

"will you go on a date with me?" sage asked, still recovering from laughing so hard.

"what?" brooklyn's face turned red. a more serious expression took over her face and she looked into her eyes.

"a date. will you go on a date with me?" sage asked, this time with a straight face.

"you're serious? after everything i've put you through these last couple weeks?"

"of course i'm serious." sage smoothly slid her hand to intertwine her fingers with brooklyn's to reassure her. "i mean, i'm tired of trying to be friends. i'm tired of taking things slow and honestly i just wanna be with you for real—"

brooklyn quickly placed her other hand on sage's cheek and kissed her. sage melted into it. she felt a massive amount of relief lift off her shoulders. they pulled away once the need for air was too much and rested their foreheads against each other's. brooklyn bit her lip. right before she reunited their lips, sage spoke up.

"i'm gonna need a verbal answer on that date, babe," she smiled.

"that wasn't enough of an answer?" brooklyn smirked. sage looked up into brooklyn's warm brown eyes and didn't say anything. "yes, i'll go on a date with you." sage grinned at the girl. "can i kiss you again now?"

sage didn't answer, she just moved her arms up around brooklyn's neck and pulled her back in for another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry if this seems a little rushed at the end, i probably rewrote parts of this chapter like four times and i think i'm as satisfied with it as i'll ever be


	11. Chapter 11

“you know... my mom’s leaving soon...”

sage pulled away slightly from brooklyn. “is that so?” she said teasingly before pulling brooklyn back in.

about half an hour had passed. they were still in her room, only now they were laying down side by side. brooklyn’s hands were placed on sage’s back and up her shirt, just a little above the dip in her waist. one of sage’s hands rested on brooklyn’s neck, allowing her to pull her as close to her as possible, while the other was tangled in her hair.

“yeah,” brooklyn breathed out in between kisses. she couldn’t help herself, she _wanted_ sage. she missed having her like this. frankly, she missed having her at all.

just then, brooklyn’s phone buzzed. she fished it out of her pocket, without parting lips with sage, and brought it over to her face. she opened her eyes and pulled away from sage, who responded by groaning, then repeatedly kissing every part of her cheek. brooklyn looked down at her notification and a smirk suddenly curled onto her lips.

"she actually just left.” brooklyn turned around to put her phone behind her, then moved her attention back to the girl in front of her. “guess it’s your lucky day,” brooklyn said with that same smirk still plastered on her face.

sage felt her own smug smile appear on her face, noticing brooklyn’s confidence. brooklyn moved her face closer to hers, but sage pushed her face back away from the girl’s. brooklyn looked a bit shocked, but before she questioned it, sage moved her lips to brooklyn’s ear. “do you think it’s that easy to get into my pants?” she teased.

brooklyn didn’t respond immediately. once she recovered from the chill sage’s whispering sentdown her spine, she moved her head back so their foreheads were resting against each other’s. their lips were about an inch away from each other and they both closed their eyes. they could both feel the hitched breath of the other’s on their lips. brooklyn moved one of hands slowly up sage’s arm. she used her other hand to pull sage’s body so close to her that there was absolutely no space in between them.

”do you not want me to?” brooklyn whispered. sage was trying not to give in right away, she wanted to make brooklyn work for it at least a little bit, but she knew she couldn’t last that long.

“i didn’t say that...” she started. brooklyn could sense a bit of shakiness in her voice. “i just...” sage’s breathing got more erratic when brooklyn moved her hand down to mess with the waistband of her leggings, tugging on it lightly.

brooklyn opened her eyes slowly. “you just...” she started, waiting for sage to finish her sentence. sage also began to open her eyes.

“i—“ sage started, but was quickly cut off when she felt brooklyn’s hand let go of the waistband and move down to graze the clothing covering her thigh. her thumb was rubbing the inner part of it slowly.

sage couldn’t take it anymore. she shifted over onto her back, pulling brooklyn on top of her at the same time. she used the hand originally running through brooklyn’s hair to grab the collar of her shirt and pull her closer. brooklyn crashed into her lips.

sage’s mind suddenly went absolutely blank. for a split second, she had no awareness of what was going on. all of sudden, with her eyes still closed, she saw a flash of a scenario very similar to this one, but with a lot less clothing. she quickly, but gently, pushed brooklyn off of her. she sat up a bit and looked up at brooklyn, who had worry written all over her face.

brooklyn scooted a little closer to her. “what’s wrong? are you okay?” she asked cautiously. sage didn’t reply, she just zoned out again for a few seconds. “sage? did i do something wrong?” she asked, sitting next to the obviously upset girl.

“no, no. you didn’t do anything wrong,” sage said, not looking at her. brooklyn could tell there was something else on her mind.

”so... what’s going on?” brooklyn asked. she grabbed one of the girl’s hands and interlocked them. “if we were going too fast, i’m sorry. we can slow things down—”

”did we already do this?” sage asked, finally looking at brooklyn. though she didn’t look upset anymore, just confused.

brooklyn raised an eyebrow. “do what?”

”you know...” sage trailed off, awkwardly rubbing the back of her neck with her free hand. brooklyn squinted her eyes a little. she could admit she was a bit amused by sage’s sudden shyness. sage rolled her eyes playfully. “have we already... had sex?” she clarified, in a low voice.

brooklyn giggled softly. she found awkward sage to be absolutely adorable. “possibly...” she smiled.

”did it um... did it go something like that?” sage asked.

“i don’t know, i can’t remember,” she joked. sage removed her hand from her neck and pushed her shoulder lightly and rolled her eyes again. brooklyn made a more serious facial expression and looked down at their hands. she intertwined their fingers. “yeah, it went... something like that...”

”i think... i think i remember it.” sage said quietly.

brooklyn was absentmindedly rubbing the back of sage’s thumb with her own. when she processed what she said, her eyes shot up at her. “what?”

“right then... i just got this like flash. it felt like i was just dreaming but everything was sped up and i’m still slowing remembering all the details of it.” she looked at brooklyn, who didn’t quite know how to react. “i’m sorry for shoving you off of me like that, it just really freaked me out.” sage’s other hand grabbed brooklyn’s free one and she intertwined their fingers.

“no, it’s okay.” brooklyn’s eyes softened at her. she let go of sage’s hands and pulled her into a hug. sage was a little surprised, but melted into it.

“what was that for?” sage asked once they pulled away. brooklyn’s legs were crossed and sage’s were folded underneath her.

“because you remembered something,” brooklyn responded. one of brooklyn’s hands cupped sage’s cheek. sage’s hands fell to her lap, holding brooklyn’s other hand in both of hers. “it’s only one memory, but that’s still something to be happy about.”

“yeah, i guess so,” sage smiled. brooklyn reciprocated the smile and pulled her in for a kiss.

it happened again. sage flinched and slightly pulled away from brooklyn.

“sage?” brooklyn asked. “did something else come back?” she started caressing sage’s cheek with her thumb, trying to get sage’s eyes to meet hers.

sage didn’t look as disoriented this time, she just looked sad. “yeah,” she said quietly, still averting her eyes from brooklyn’s.

“why are you upset?” brooklyn asked, clearly concerned. she put her other hand on sage’s other cheek. she tilted the dancer’s head so she was facing her.

sage’s eyes caught brooklyn’s. “it was just... not a good memory this time...” she chuckled lightly.

“what happened?”

“we were in a fight. i think i was like jealous about something—“

“yeah, that was pretty bad,” brooklyn interrupted. “it’s like the only real argument we had.” sage still had a look of sadness plastered on her face, so brooklyn scooted closer to her. “but it’s okay now. that was over a month ago,” she tried to comfort her. sage’s hands grabbed onto the hem of brooklyn’s shirt and fidgeted with it.

“it feels like it just happened.” sage’s voice broke a little bit. there wasn’t a sight brooklyn hated to see more than sage crying, so she wasn’t about to let that happen.

“hey, hey, no...” brooklyn quickly hugged her. “it’s okay... i’m not mad at you and you’re not mad at me. we’re okay, i promise.”

they stayed like that for a few minutes. brooklyn’s reassurance did calm sage down. when they finally pulled away, brooklyn kissed sage’s forehead and sage closed her eyes and smiled. “can we go on our date right now?” she asked, not opening her eyes, and just leaning into brooklyn’s forehead.

“right now?” brooklyn asked. she pulled away so their foreheads weren’t touching anymore. both of them had heir eyes open now. “it’s like nine.”

“i don’t care. i don’t wanna wait,” sage said seriously, looking into brooklyn’s eyes. she intertwines her fingers with brooklyn’s in the air between them.

brooklyn sighed, then grinned. “okay. where are we going?”

sage sat and thought to herself for a minute. her eyes lit up and she smiled widely. “i want to go stargazing.”

“stargazing? i’ve never done that,” brooklyn said, watching sage get up off the bed. she mirrored her actions and followed her.

“neither have i, but i’ve always wanted to.” sage grabbed her hand and dragged her out of her room and to the front door.

“do you even know where to go for this?” brooklyn asked, getting her bag off the coat rack and sliding her phone in it.

“do you not want to go?”

“i wanna go wherever you go. this all just seems a bit... i don’t know.”

“c’mon brooks, since when are you one to turn down an adventure?” sage smirked. brooklyn rolled her eyes at her and followed her out to her car.

when they got in the car, brooklyn offered sage the aux chord. she gladly took, knowing exactly what song she wanted to listen to right now.

brooklyn started the car and handed her the cord. she played “fallingforyou” by the 1975.

“so where am i taking us?” brooklyn asked.

“reform, actually,” sage responded hesitantly.

“reform?”

“just trust me. mags told me about this cliff side at the edge of the sector,” sage laughed softly, which melted brooklyn’s heart.

“okay... i trust you,” brooklyn smiled. right then, the first verse of the song started playing.

**_what time you coming out?_ **

**_we started losing light_ **

**_i’ll never make it right_ **

**_if you don’t want me ‘round..._ **

“why do you have to play such a gloomy song?” brooklyn laughed.

“it’s not gloomy,” sage squinted her eyes in confusion. “it’s cute!”

“it’s about falling for someone that doesn’t feel the same way,” she explained.

“well, i beg to differ.” sage crossed her arms and looked at brooklyn, who was paying attention to road, but occasionally taking glances at her.

“i think it’s pretty obvious in the lyrics that’s what it’s about.”

“it’s not that the other person doesn’t feel that way, it’s just about bad timing and life getting in the way of them. i think it can be cute or sad, it all depends on how you’re already feeling," she elaborated.

"yeah, i guess," brooklyn chuckled lightly.

**_don’t you see me?_ **

**_i think i’m falling, i’m falling for you_ **

**_don’t you need me?_ **

**_i think i’m falling, i’m falling for you..._ **

at a stop light, brooklyn looked over at sage. she was looking ahead at the passing cars, singing the lyrics quietly. it was so quiet that you could barely hear it, but brooklyn always thought she had a pretty singing voice and could pick out that voice out in the crowded room. brooklyn smiled at her adoringly.

“fine. maybe it’s a little cute...” brooklyn admitted, still looking at her.

“see!” sage laughed in victory. she noticed brooklyn roll her eyes playfully as she averted her attention back to the road since the light turned green. “but i’ll play a more upbeat song next.”

brooklyn smiled. “you’re the best.”

“i know.”

they rode in silence for the rest of the song. it wasn’t awkward at all, it was comfortable. towards the end of the song, sage pulled her phone back out and picked the next song. she played “daydream” by the aces.

“oh my gaia, i love the aces!” brooklyn smiled, hearing the initial guitar in the intro begin.

“yeah, i know.”

“and how do you know that?”

sage turned the music down a bit so brooklyn could hear her. “you know, the most interesting part of losing your memory is listening to all the new songs you already know you fell in love with for the first time all over again.”

“i’m not following.” brooklyn raised an eyebrow.

“the playlists you made me, i found them on my spotify a few days after the riots.” brooklyn nodded her head, acknowledging it. “oh we’re almost there.”

sage finished instructing brooklyn how to get there and they parked. they grabbed the blankets and pillows they brought with them and headed down a trail to reach the cliff side.

“sage, this view is gorgeous,” brooklyn said. sage smiled and her and nodded in agreement. the two set the blankets down so that they were laying on one blanket and the other was covering them. they put the pillows down so they each had one, though they were laying so close together, they might as well have been sharing one.

their hands were intertwined and brooklyn’s eyes were fixated on the sky. “stargazing still sound like a bad idea to you?” sage teases, noticing how relaxed brooklyn seems.

brooklyn tilted her head to the side so her attention is on sage instead. “i never said it was a bad idea!” she laughed.

“i know, i’m just messing with you.” sage grinned at her. brooklyn’s eyes were locked on hers.

“you’re really beautiful.” she said it so genuinely that sage almost didn’t know how to react. she was certain her face was turning bright red, so she was just hoping it was too dark for brooklyn to notice it.

“you're so sweet,” she said. she leaned in slowly and kissed brooklyn.

when they pulled away a few seconds later, brooklyn moved her arm around sage’s shoulder and pulled her in as sage threw her arm across brooklyn’s stomach and rested her head in the crook of her neck. they stayed like that for about twenty minutes. 

“brooks...” sage whispered. brooklyn hummed and moved her head so she could see the girl’s face. “i know this is just the first date but...” she started.

“but what?” brooklyn asked, intrigued.

“well i know what you said to mags on the phone...” she trailed off. brooklyn tried to recall her exact words and realized what she was talking about. “did you mean it? do you love me?” 

brooklyn moved back to her original position, laying on her side. this caused sage to do the same. brooklyn sighed.

“of course i love you,” brooklyn smiled. sage just looked at her. she looked at every little detail on her face, from the natural pink color of her lips to the brown orbs that were basically seeing into her soul. she knew exactly how she felt about her.

“and if you’re not ready to say that yet, i totally get it, you haven’t—“ brooklyn started but was interrupted by sage kissing her again. brooklyn’s hands slid down sage’s body to reach her waist. sage’s hands made their way around brooklyn’s neck. both of these movements left their bodies with no space between them. moments later, brooklyn’s tongue traced sage’s bottom lip and their tongues began wrestling in their mouths.

eventually, they pulled apart in need of air. sage opened her eyes and looked back into brooklyn’s.

“i love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote most of this chapter at 4am lol


End file.
